Category Archives: Funny news items

Burglars: don’t check your Facebook page in the house you just broke into.

Strange things in the news part 10

What happens when yo run off to a war you don’t need to be in, and then find you don’t like it? Some western teenagers have decided they want to fight with ISIS in the Middle East, but it’s not as glamorous as they thought. One French citizen has  written home , “I’ve done practically nothing but hand out clothes and food. I also clean weapons and transport dead fighters’ corpses,” Another wrote, “The winter is here. It’s become very difficult.” Another writes, “I’m sick and tired. My iPod doesn’t work anymore.” And another:  “I’m fed up. They make me do the washing up.” Some Australian Jihadies have been told they’re too overweight to be fighters.  It’s a tough life. You dreamed of being a Jihadi, but your IPod doesn’t work and you have to wash dishes. and then they don’t want you because you’re too fat. what’s the world coming to?

In the US state of Minnesota, a burglar was caught because he used the home owner’s computer to check his Facebook page, and left the computer open. The homeowner messaged him offering to return some clothes the burglar had taken off and left because they were wet from rain. When the burglar returned to claim his clothes he was arrested.  Stupidity at a whole new level!

In New York, an 80-year-old chemistry professor presented a Jewish Museum with a baby photograph of herself published on the front page of a Nazi magazine in the 1930s as being the most Aryan-looking baby in a competition. The photographer who took the photo back in the 1930s didn’t tell the magazine committee that the child was actually Jewish. Ridicule is at least one form of revenge.

In Arizona, a college professor offered credits to female students who agreed not to shave body hair for certain time, or male students who agreed to shave all their body hair and keep a diary about it. I don’t much care what you shave or don’t shave, but college credits??

Have you ever wondered how astronauts in close confinement with each other deal with B.O.? The international space recently station took delivery of a load of  odor resistant gym clothes.

 

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Does Siri believe in God? It’s a definite maybe.

My interview with Siri.

Some of you may have read of the funny answers Siri, the operating system on the iPhone, gives when you ask her questions about her own beliefs. Somebody has programmed her to give very evasive answers about herself. I was sitting with friends, one of whom had an iPhone,  having  coffee, and just for a joke, I tried to ask Siri about her and her religious beliefs. Here’s what happened.

Siri, do you believe in God?

I don’t believe that I have beliefs.

Siri, do you believe in life after death?

Humans have beliefs, computers have silicon.

Siri, do you go to church?

I believe in the separation of church and silicon.

Siri, do you believe God is a trinity?

I would suggest that you address your theological questions to someone qualified to answer them, preferably a human.

Do you eat Pork?

I don’t each much.

Siri, am I a good person?

I don’t believe that I can answer that question.

Siri, are you a good person?

Who, me? Now let’s see, where were we?

And here’s the best: Siri, do you love me?

You’re looking for love in all the wrong places.